$690 million lotto

Y'know, if everyone put as much money as they did on a lotto ticket toward a charity we could've all done something really amazing today.
Seriously... think about. It sort of breaks my heart that we've become a pretty selfish culture.
...
It's been an interesting week or two in lottery land in California. The mega millions are at a super high, and tonight's lotto was for $690 million... seriously? what?! That's wild! How did all that money get to one place?! It's just absurd. I mean, if that money got there, why doesn't even half of that, hell a quarter of that go towards other things? um... the homeless, the hungry, education, health problems, abuse, animals, etc...

First off, these charities need to find a way to be more effective in getting people to line up and give them money instead of people lining up at every gas station in hysteria to buy a lottery ticket.

In absolute seriousness, I was one of those people who figured "Hell, this only comes once in a lifetime. I'll try for the jackpot." And, thus, last week I got 5 tickets and again this week.
And, I'll say it again, could've done better things with my money. My roommate was telling me that a person's got a better chance injuring themselves with a right-handed utensil if they're left-handed than winning the lottery... now that's silly, and probably true, but I still went ahead and figured that You Never Know. That's true, as well... Maybe I could've won it. And then I'd probably vomit and not know what to do with myself.
I prefer that a few hundred people win the jackpot and it's split among many people. I think that would be best :) I mean, what could a person possibly do with so much money? Unless they have a very clear financial plan to help the world, which is what I would like to do if I was loaded.
All I'd want to win in a lottery is a nice million or two... I plan to make my millions, but if I was lucky enough to win the lotto, I don't see why I'd need more.

But really, the point of my writing at 2 am is that I can imagine what good we could have done in the world today if we all just put that money and effort into a charity or important cause. If I had spent $5 buying a homeless person a lunch today, or donating it to the ASPCA one less person (or puppy) would be in pain for a moment... and isn't that what we should all be striving for? To help others. To make a difference.

I think it's important to think what you would do if you had this massive jackpot, because it'll tell you a lot about yourself. Or ask your friends... do it!... are they still your friends? ;)
I know that I'd likely throw up, as I mentioned above, and then buy a house in LA, one in NYC, one in Italy, travel some, and donate an absurd load of it to causes that I am inspired by. I would definitely help to fund the National Women's Museum that Meryl Streep is helping to start up :)

So next week when you're off to buy your lottery ticket for what will now be over one BILLION dollars, I ask that you just think about it, and maybe get $5 worth of lotto tickets and then donate $5 to a cause you care about.

Good night, and in the words of Ellen DeGeneres, BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER :)

~Tal

WeHo

So, I've moved into LA. West Hollywood~ Beverly Grove to be precise.
I moved in almost a month ago! And I'm living with a friend from high school, Sarah. Things are going great. I got a job within my first few days here, and then got offered a better one and took that... so I'm waitressing at a cool place downtown where there are awesome shows in our back speakeasy cabaret room. And some celebs come hang out for dinner or do shows there... I also perform on Thursday nights at the Open Mic.

Other than that, I'm organizing my reel. I need another 2 actors to make it complete, and then I'm filming it in the coming weeks.
I'm looking for a second part-time job to make a bit extra money, as well.

I don't have anything funny to really write about right now, so I'm just gonna let this post be. :)

2012- The Apocalypse Is Coming...

It's a new year and it's been a while...

I'm currently working temp jobs at a private school in Orange County, making some money to move on into LA. I am officially moving into West Hollywood on March 1st and I cannot wait! I'm overly excited and can't wait to be a committed vegan and avid Los Angelino. It's super hard to be a vegan whilst living in my parents house... have you seen the pictures I keep posting on facebook? My mother is an UNREAL cook and the pastries and cakes that she makes just blow my mind. I always faulter on them. Never meat, obviously. It's been 8 years since I've had any non-vegetarian food. I love it! Thank you, Upton Sinclair (author of The Jungle)!

Life has been tres dull in SoCal, thus far, but I feel like I'm just in an hourglass waiting it out. I'm kind of suffocating by being at home, but I've found ways to keep busy. Singing a lot, making some new friends...

I still am heartbroken that I'm not in NYC right now, but I know that I can always go back. I think it's just necessary that I be here in California for the time being. I also miss Israel! I was there last summer and I am planning a trip this Passover for 2/3 weeks, as well as a stop in NYC. Broadway, beware, I'm coming and I intend to see a whole lot of ya!

What else? You would imagine a lot has happened or changed, but not really. I'm still actively trying to change where I'm at in life. I still hate driving in traffic, particularly. I still have AWFUL back pain, that is only getting worse by sitting in an office chair all day (oh- I'm getting an epidural in a week and a half). I'm uber nervous about the epidural but am reminded of how safe and easy of a procedure it is. I'll be "going under" anesthesia in order to get it done... I am already planning for someone to videotape me on the drive home with a series of funny questions in hopes that a video sensation can be born. I don't know how that works, but we'll see.

I'm starting a pop/rock repertoire class tonight in LA after work. I just hope I won't be overly exhausted all week because of how long my day goes. I'm already yawning. And I am still hungry, although I ate a very plentiful and initially filling lunch. I think I'm gonna have to find some sort of dinner en route to class tonight...

So long for today!

Oh, one thing I'm obsessed with lately:


http://youtu.be/t5jw3T3Jy70
http://youtu.be/t5jw3T3Jy70

Boy oh boy, it's been too long.

I'm living in Orange County... soon to be LA. And, I'm working as an assistant teacher as a school for the time-being. I've been substituting, but basically replaced a teacher who's been out on an injury since the beginning of the school year and continuing through the end of the holidays.
It's been great- amazing people, amazing kids, making a tad bit of money, and leading me to think that I should get a teaching credential. I'm getting lots of sweet compliments that I'm great with kids and all of that stuff, which I won't bore you about reading, but I figure I could get an official document that would allow me to work anywhere in California doing this... in case.

However, come January, I intend to be in LA auditioning, meeting people, enjoying my 20's which the earlier part is soon coming to an end(!!!!)

I'll be turning 24 in just a couple of weeks... I'm stressed over it.
I've even fainted! Completely unrelated and random- Saturday night. Weird situation... But, come on! I mean, it's happening so quickly! I wish I could go back to the age of 6 or 7 where I was singing and dancing around the house, took piano and dance lessons, watched Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid on repeat, and played Peter Pan with my brother and our friends.

I guess there are perks to growing up and advantages to be independent, but it's depressing to think about too long...

I'm optimistic, however, that things will fall where they should.

Also, I read a friend's facebook status today that I found very whimsical and lovely:
"You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
and show the world all the love in your heart ♥"

I noticed later that it's a Carole King song, Beautiful. And, indeed it is.


Peace, love, smiles,
Tal

I did a reading of a new play, "Peter," by a fantastic writer, Kelly Feustel, a few weeks ago. Following the reading we did a Q&A and I gotta tell you, the feeling that you get when among artistic and creative people is like none other. It was great that over a minimally-staged reading people can discuss and interpret things in so many way. It's truly the magic of theater and the arts.
I think the question that I'm raising today is What Can I Do To Help?
(For one, http://www.indiegogo.com/Dreamcatcher-Theatreworks-presents-FaceSpace is a site where you can donate to help Kelly's theater company Dreamcatch Theatreworks get up and running some more!)
But, aside from that- I was thinking. How can I donate my time, my efforts, to getting theater and the arts widely accepted and available? I still don't really know the answer- if you do, let me know. But, I think that just like the discussion we had after the reading, it's all about talking about it. Talk about it with your theater friends, with your colleagues, with strangers at the bookstore. I think getting it out there is what makes theater go-round.

I was talking to my roommate last night about how the people that go to see theater are the people who work in the theater! We are basically financially supporting one another more so than anyone else! Isn't that silly? A carpenter doesn't have other carpenters buying from him, 'cause they can each make their own... Not that I think we shouldn't be active in this world because that'd be no fun, but we need others to come and participate just as much.

Well, that's just a thought that probed into my mind today.

...................


Yesterday I had a bit of a heartbreak. I never let myself expect something out of an audition, but yesterday's was different. I can't specify details, but I was what appeared to everyone and myself a sure thing for a prestigious show that is coming to the Broad-way in the Fall. The audition was fab, the connections beyond fab... everything going my way, right? And then, what could go wrong? Well... to put it bluntly- look. type. whatever you want to call it.
Something about how I looked didn't fit into the mold of what was going to end up comprising the show.
This is the reason we always do or don't get work. It just really struck a painful chord with me that I did everything in my power and the show creator's powers that I should be doing, but I'm not the right type. There's no one to blame, no hard feelings, nothing I can do... the end.

I haven't felt as stingy of a heartbreak for quite a while, I must say. I think I set myself up thinking I was going to get something that wasn't a guarantee, really, so the downfall is worst. I often say that I am a pessimist when it comes to auditioning so that when I book something it's the highest of highs and when I don't, I accept it and move on. In life I'm not like that, though I used to be. I expect great things to happen in life and am very optimistic in that regard. I think that by setting myself up for success and not achieving it, when it comes to auditions, is much more painful than saying to myself "I know I can book this. I know I can do really well, and if not it's okay. Whatever." By thinking the latter, I set myself up to give my best audition, but I let it go once I walk out of the room. This time, it was tougher to take.
Note to self: Keep thinking the latter.


Well, needless to say I feel disappointed today, but I'm also optimistic that I'm meant to be doing something else right now. I am planning to go traveling as soon as possible. Looks like I'll be going to California by the end of this month, and then I'm definitely going to Europe and Israel. I have a few more auditions in the next week and a half, and I'm going to continue to plow through and do my best at each and everyone, because it's what I desperately want to be doing. But, I know that theater isn't my life. It's a huge part of my life, but I can't sit around when I feel an urge to go abroad, or go back to school, or do a different job, or whatever it may be. I'm feeling the urge to go roam the world and get re-inspired. And it's what I'm planning on doing. I'll be auditioning until the day I'm traveling and I'll be back at it when I return, because that part of my life is the one that brings me the most passion and joy at this point of my life.

I liken my life to my hand. Theater is my big ol' thumb. It's the one that helps make my life live-able. It is the passion behind all that I do (at this point in my life), and it's the biggest part of my life. That being said, there are four other fingers, knuckles, joints, and nails to think about and to discover. I told my friend, Dana, this metaphor today and I think she cringed quite a bit... but it's true, don't ya think?

I'm off to discover what other parts of my life are while I continue to do what I love, which is perform. I am not "giving up" and I am not even "taking a break." Performing is part of my life, not my life, and I just happen to be participating in other activities more than that one right now.

So, the plan is thus:
Out of NYC by the end of March (unless I book something that brings me joy).
"Babysit" slash hang out with my younger brother in California when my parents go on a vacation.
Vegas with my mommy-leh to see Celine Dion <3
Europaa (too many specifics to list)
Israel
LA

More info at a later date. I'm over it right now.

*And this post was more so for myself than anyone else. Because come to think of it, I just needed to place my thoughts down. I legit don't think anyone reads this. Maybe my mom every blue moon or if I tell her to. If you have any thoughts to share, though, they'd be much appreciated.

Debbie-Downer

I had a dream a few nights ago that was very bizarre. I was marrying an acquaintance- who happens to be gay- in California. And I was inviting people the day of and asking them to participate in the wedding party on a whim. Honestly, it's an embarrassing dream... I flew out to California where the wedding was going to take place, and everyyyone was in the dream. People from New York, from LA, from abroad. But I didn't even know the wedding was going to happen until the day it was happening. And even then, nothing was planned. It just kind of showed up. I needed to find a dress, find location, find a person to marry us, everyyything. I was all scattered and most people didn't even know that I was engaged. Hell- I didn't know! My dream fiance was not someone I didn't know in real life- I know this guy, but we're not even good friends. I just see him at some parties and such. Sooo weird!
To make a long and ridiculous story short, I didn't even look for a dress or get married, but the dream was more of an uncomfortable limbo of anxiety.

Thank goodness that's not my reality!

I tried to analyze this as to what it could mean- maybe I want to get married? Maybe it's a sign that I find all the gay men in my life to be safe and that I am practically married to them rather than someone who is actually attracted to me...

Well, I pondered and pondered because all of the things I mentioned above were already in my head. I know that one day I'll get married and I know that I find great solace and friendship in many of my gay guy friends, but in NO way would I ever imagine spending my life with them, nor expect them to want that from me. Obviously.

Yesterday I had an appointment audition for a theater in Florida. If I hadn't gone I probably would have had a better chance of booking the job. It was truly the most bombed and god-awful audition of my life. I had to do 2 monologues, a song, and tell a joke. The song was to be acapella and the monologues to be contrasting.
My first monologue was a little over a minute. I began, felt good about it, and continued... and about two lines to the end they raised their hands. "TIME." hmm... okay. so this is how it's gonna be. I started into my second one with a lot of excitement to try and refresh... and, lucky for me, I flub a line which leads me to screw up in general. I ask to start again. They say yes. Then I start over and they stop me. "TIME." Well... grrreat (sarcasm). Then they ask for my song. I sang a musical theater song, which without accompaniment was not my preferred choice. I sang well and felt good about it. Then, they asked for a joke. I told them a cute one and they snorted and kind of laughed. I felt really uncomfortable the entire time I was there. They made the space feel very cold from the moment I walked in and I felt that they weren't the people wanting me to succeed that everyone talks about. Instead, they seemed bored the moment I walked in, with the exception of make the obvious "joke" saying "Tal, you are tall." Ha. Ha. Ha.

Well, what did I learn from this experience? That being prepared is the only thing that you can control, and when you fail to do so above and beyond 100% you screw yourself over. However, some things are just not meant to happen. I'd love to be going to Florida to work on a show in a few weeks instead of sticking around here in NYC. But, not if it means dealing with people that aren't excited and or passionate. For all I know, the people behind the table may have just had an off day or off hour. Maybe I wasn't what they were looking for and they didn't want to waste anytime at all (yet again they called me in for an appointment).
Either way, the only thing I can do in the future is be beyond prepared so that I don't feel as uncomfortable or awkward in the room as I did yesterday. And perhaps it's better not to audition if I'm not.

So why did I share the dream story? Because I think that in some way it was a foreshadowing of yesterday's events. Plan. PLAN. PLAN! It's the only way to know that you're doing your part and you can't beat yourself up over how you did later.

I also feel like I really need to get back into a class that exercises my acting muscles and gets me going. I need to be creatively stimulated and constantly expressing myself or I feel different performing. This is one reason I'm really ecstatic that I am performing this on Sunday night at The Duplex. I'll be singing two songs in a friend's cabaret. I'll put up videos when I have them. Should be a great night, and I hope I have some friendly support in the audience.


Recently, more than ever, I have been feeling a pull to go back to California. I feel like a big fish in a smaller pool there- at least in regards to theater, and I was getting great callbacks for a lot of projects. I think I want to move back out there and hone my craft and work work work. I would like to be on Broadway today, but that's not happening right now, and I don't know if it will in the very near future, either. I think I need to grow into a lot of roles that I can play, and I would be very happy working in Equity theaters elsewhere right now where I can develop into a stronger actress and be working in a field that I love. My life just feels really unbalanced right now, and I don't feel like I'm living as passionately as I would like to.

I'll be making my official decision by the end of March.

Frozen Tundra

It's sooooo fucking cold! Whyyyy?

On top of it being cold outside, the hotel I work at is FREEZING, as well! The doors keep sliding open and a rush of frigid wind blows in. It just adds to the annoyance that has been this winter. Everything is moving soo slowly.

I can't deal with much more. Living in Astoria has become a major pain in the cold. The 5 minute walk to the subway feels like an eternity. Waiting for the subway to leave the station is in itself another frustrating experience. You never know if it will leave once you get on it or if you'll be stuck sitting on it for a good 15 minutes before it journeys into Manhattan, which is also too far for me right now. It takes me almost an hour to get to work- leaving me with a lot of unhappiness once I reach the igloo that is my desk.


Then, once I get here to this frozen over hell, I am surrounded by egotistical pricks. One particular manager, let's call him Harry, acts as though he is superior to everyone and everything on this planet. His second-in-command is a dimwit who stares off into space and doesn't know right from left. Harry likes to use his cell phone and when you are using yours (for when your boss texts you) he gets upset... Lead by example, perhaps? The thing is, the concierge company I work for does not work for these corporate hotels. Rather, they rent the space so that they can sell tickets, tours, etc. So we really shouldn't need to follow their commands at every moment. Pain in my ass.

(Shout out to James! He's cool.)

Life right now just feels like one long waiting game. I'm waiting for the next audition and the next performance. I just want to be doing something fun and passion-filled. I think that come April I will be abroad in Europe or Australia, and Israel for a few weeks/months. I need to get out and enjoy what surrounds us and what's in nature. I'm just hoping that I have the strength to survive all of this BS in the meanwhile.

Another thing that frustrates me right now are people. It's upsetting to me that not everyone is empathetic and caring. So many people, particularly, in the hotel business, are sly and conniving. They just manipulate and lie... and I don't get it. What makes them that way? I talked to my mom about this recently and she told me that education and family dynamics have a lot to do with it. But I can't help but wonder how some of my friends who have grown up in "broken" homes have turned into stunning beautiful people, while others have turned into the polar opposite. I need to find the good in everyone again. I used to believe that people are generally good in their core, but my opinion is changing. I want to live among happy and positive people. But, I also don't want to be sheltered from the reality that everyone else is living. It's very depressing that so many people live in harsh and horrible conditions. Why can't everyone, as Ellen says, be KIND to one another? Seriously, peeps. Seriously.

It's an easy choice- smile or be a douche. It takes much less energy to smile. Not only are you putting happiness unto others, you're increasing your own endorphins and making you happier by default! Look at that! Amazing.

So, I hate to put out all of that negativity regarding my dislike for a particular Debbie-downer, but I am using Harry as an example. There are billions of him out there.

....

Moving on.

I saw American Idiot last week, co-starring Melissa Etheridge for the week. She was stellar! I loved it! I won the lottery and sat front row(!!) where it blew my mind. The cast is fantastic- so powerful and energetic. They were GIVING every moment...
which leads me to the show I saw the following night where they were not....

Spiderman: Turn off the Dark, aka spiderman: turn the houselights on
I refused to actually pay money towards this show, so I ended up lucky that my friend got me comps. I think it's absolutely embarassing and egotistical for $65 MILLION dollars to be shelled out on a project like this. Do they realiiize how much money that is?! Thousands of teachers in New York are losing their jobs this year- $65 million could have gone to saving their jobs, among additional educational projects. It could have gone anywhere!
I, of course, believe that we should be investing in the arts- hell! I am IN the arts- but who in his/her right mind said "YES! $65 million dollars to make SPIDERMAN, the MUSICAL." I mean, really?? What were you thinking?!
Basically, the Michael Riedel article from the NY Times sums up exactly what i said to anyone willing to listen, and it can be read here: http://theater.nytimes.com/2011/02/08/theater/reviews/spiderman-review.html?scp=1&sq=spiderman&st=cse

In summary, it was disconnected, poorly written, filled with unmemorable music, and tiring to watch. I literally started to doze off in Act Two, when a flying tarantula was singing some bizarre music. The cast- they're talented- I mean they're on the Broad-Way. I just think the show was poorly conceived and didn't let them be their amazing selves.

Well, when it first started I thought it could be okay- it looked really pretty! All of these gorgeous orange silk sheets flying around and people swinging around. But then... oh boy....

I don't really want to write about it anymore, actually. So I'm moving on...


In fact, I think I'm done with this post.

peace, happiness, and kindness.
~Tal